At Penn, we seek to honor the totality of our experiences, which brought us to this shared place and time. Just like genders and pronouns, our names have histories attached to them. When it comes to questions rooted in curiosity, internet browsers are exceptional resources to utilize as is Penn’s LGBT Center. It is true that asking questions empowers us to know more, and who does not want that in an academic institution? However, most of the time, we are asking these invasive questions of GNBT people because of personal curiosity, not educational enlightenment. The best rule is always to ask yourself first why you want to know the answer to any question you might have of your GNBT coworker. When well-intentioned people ask, “Did you/are you going to have ‘the surgery’?” or “Have you started hormones yet?” what GNBT people hear is “I want to talk about your genitals and chest.” Remember, no matter how close or comfortable you may be with each other, this is a place of work. Fifth: Go about your regularly scheduled programming.ĭo not ask invasive questions about your coworker’s body.Fourth: Talk about confidentiality (see Confidentiality Section).Third: Confirm with them the name and pronouns they are using.Second: Acknowledge this may have been overwhelming or nerve-wracking for them.First: Thank them for inviting you into their gender journey.You are the captain of your emotional experience, and it is not the responsibility of the GNBT person to make you feel better or any type of way. What is important is your coworker is not responsible for your feelings. You, yourself, are allowed to feel overwhelmed and nervous. Inviting others into a personal experience can feel overwhelming and nerve-wracking. The coworker who invited you into their gender journey has been waiting for the right time and place to share this information with you.
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